LA TO PLAY MIAMI IN FINALS

WE KNEW THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN!

Credit to:

Jimmy Parks, Jr.
Attorney at Law
210-229-1322

LA TO PLAY MIAMI IN FINALS
MAVS FANS EXCITED FOR THE LAKERS

Surprisingly, almost to a person, Maverick fans who heard the news that the Lakers were still going to the NBA Finals were excited that the Lakers were going in spite of being swept by the Mavs. Tom Masoni, a Maverick season ticket holder since the team first came to town, was not the least bit disappointed. “At first I was a little chagrined; after having swept them and all. Besides they’re genuine A-holes. Then I thought about it. They really are the best team in the NBA, and besides we’re A-holes too. So it’s a win-win”.
Mark Cuban was practical in his approach. “It really surprised me at first…having never heard of the rule before. But it’s no secret that I obsessively spend a ton of money that could do some good for mankind, on this goofy German freak of nature; I’m offensively selfish; and by the way I’m an A-hole. Besides, I only waste my fortune to prove that we can play with the best. And I think we showed the world that we can compete with the Lakers, and we sure did give them a good game. We are satisfied with the results and we’ll be pulling for them in the Finals”.
The Rule Cuban is talking about is the Rule of Parley. A rarely used NBA rule where the NBA can bring back a team and put them in the NBA Finals, even after they get goose-egged in a series. We sent Jimmy Parks to interview David Stern.
Jimmy: David how did the Mavs get eliminated?
Stern: It’s an American Idol move we copied. When a team loses, we let the heterosexual guy who judges ‘Dancing with the Stars’ decide if they should still be brought back to the Finals.
Jimmy: What about scores, wins, and playoff series?
Stern: They are all great. And they all have their place in the NBA. But you’d have to agree that the goal is to have the two best teams in the NBA play for the championship, and everyone knows that Miami and L.A. are by far, the two best.
Jimmy: But shouldn’t the objectivity of playoff scores mean something?
Stern: Of course. But scores only take you so far. The Lakers transcend scores. And objectivity is puerile and overrated. In some years the subjectivity of the media on the two Coasts, is simply a much better judge of who should be in the Finals than determining a winner by points. This year is a perfect example. The Lakers-Heat Series was predetermined. To tell you the truth, I’d have been shocked if that judge who sits in the middle and talks funny, whatever his name is, hadn’t invoked the Rule of Parley.