Lewis Grizzard the noted columnist had a highlight column called "My Daddies". As readers of Lewis would know, his father, Lewis Sr. was a WW2 and Korean War veteran who would have what is called PTSD today. As a result of his mental scars, he was somewhat unstable in his later life, was divorced from Lewis Jr's mother, and was frequently absent from his son's life for long periods of time.
As a result, the son said "I looked for my dad, or parts of my dad, in a lot of other men when I was growing up. I realized that my dad would not be part of my life and wanted to fill that void."
David Cook, sports psychologist, takes this a step further. He writes "Because it seems there is no perfect father on this earth. But all little boys and girls desperately need one. Every man it seems is suffering from some level of drought. And for all of us men, there is a day of reckoning when we realize that not only was our father not perfect, neither are we as fathers… and the cycle continues."
If there is no perfect father on Earth, like Lewis Jr. we look for father figures in all sorts of places. On this Father's Day, in addition to my own dad, I'd like to recognize those other influential men who probably don't or never realized the effect they had as a positive role model and a good influence.
Close to home, my uncle Dr. Vernon Elledge was a significant influence. He died at a relatively young age of 59, but his memories lives on. Vernon was an even tempered, Type B personality. The kind of man you'd want to be attend at a birth, which was his ideal profession as an Obstetrician/OB GYN. While his patience was tested with me as a young boisterous kid (he had three calm daughters), as I grew up, he always treated me more adult than most other adults. It did not go unnoticed. As a result we stayed close in my 20s and 30s. I'm thankful for that time.
My dad had two good friends who I always thought of as men that really cared about what I did or didn't do. They are Fred Alcorn and Glenn Good. Fred is no longer with us, having died the Friday before 9/11/2001. I think it fitting that he didn't have to know about that. Fred was somewhat who never really had to ask about me because I think he always seemed to know from his friendship with my dad. A very bright personality, he always gave off a positive vibe. Fred was a successful man and always gave off the impression that I or others might ultimately hit that level.
Glenn fortunately is still with us, going good at 81. Like my own father, he's always been one to give good advice, and not shy about it. What started as being unexpected (but not unwanted) advice, has evolved into information you WANT to have. I seek him out at the Starbucks in Houston when I am there.
Glenn was ahead of his time in the area of physical fitness, and ran his first marathon in the 70s. He then kept it up with 62 other marathons. When I decided to run my first marathon, he was very supportive (as were all runners). By the Hand of God, guess who happened to be watching me finish in January 2008 and ran the last mile in with me, telling me about crying during the first time he finished a marathon!
I was also fortunately to have a great father in law, David Sales. Again it seems that these men go all too soon, but their influence lives on. David who I called "Dad" [surprise!] was a tough and practical person, honed with growing up in Appalachia and fine tuned with his long and proud military service in the US Navy. David would never take 3 steps when 1 or 2 would do. He was not a man of great means but was generous with what he had in abundance. He treated people fairly and was an excellent teacher of his vast practical knowledge.
I'm sure my own daughter could write her own list of other influential men. As with many things in life, no one and no father does it alone. Thank to my own Dad, Ed Turley, for all you do and have done. And thanks for sharing!
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